Graphic book illustrations and words by Nadia Shivak
Eating disorders are an experience sometimes inexpressible with words alone. In Nancy Shivak’s new book, Inside Out: Portrait of an Eating Disorder, she uses book illustrations to articulate her experience.
Drawn in a childlike hand, the pictures are revealing and simple at the same time. She chronicles dinnertime growing up, with every member of the family’s thoughts and words.
Her mother plays a large role and is depicted as only eating one meal a day and just enough to sustain her. She makes comments to her daughter about her weight and her frumpy clothes, causing confusion in Nancy’s young mind.
As she gets older, she remembers sitting in the school cafeteria and talking about food, diets and wanting to lose weight. Those around her were all talking about the same thing.
A poignant image follows with her on a motorcycle with “ED,” her eating disorder. He’s driving and she’s hanging on for dear life, the feeling most people have when clinging desperately to their dangerous behavior.
Another powerful drawing is “The Daily ‘Scramble’ Uphill,” with her crawling up the bottom and the obstacles she faces placed along the hill. The overwhelming sensation of life and the excruciating difficulty of getting through each day are aptly shown in the image.
Then come the pictures of monsters, dragons and beasts, all of which she feels like because she’s binging and purging. Her journey into recovery is significantly revealed with the many thoughts going on in her head at one time. They’re never-ending and all consuming.
Each page is also highlighted with her story is simple writing: white on black like a chalkboard. A small yellow box on most pages is filled with statistics about eating disorders.
The book itself is aimed at younger readers, although it’s clearly meant for adults. The pictures are childlike but the story is one that many older individuals will be able to relate to.
The afterword by the author reveals that she is still recovering and struggling to regain her life without an eating disorder. Her purpose is to help those get out of the secrecy and shame that so often cloak these disorders in silence.
An inspirational expression of what is sometimes hard to say, Inside Out: Portrait of an Eating Disorder is a touching look inside the head of someone still struggling. Her encouragement to recover is moving and her intentions noble.
Inside Out: Portrait of an Eating Disorder can be purchased from AMAZON.
